... you shouldn't make fun of cancer victims. But goddamn this is one of the funniest/coolest things I've seen in a while. Unfortunately it will make trademarking my iTits a little more difficult; especially if she starts a whole line of "tits" wear. First its TitBits, then TitHolster, then TitBits Plus (new and improved and more comfortable). The next thing you know, she's put two and two together, and come up with iTits and TitTunes. My mindshare for the tit race is slipping.
Maybe we could form a joint venture; I can supply the intellectual property and know how and she can provide the manufacturing labor. I mean, if you're already putting a fake one there anyway, you might as well have one that's functional as well as looks good. Women like to store things in their tits, we could manufacture a TitFolio with a pouch to store cash and keys. Women store kerchiefs in their tits, we could make TitShew, a disposable tissue holder (and renewable - haha, we could lock in our customers with 'specially designed tissue holders' that would only hold the tissues we manufacture!). The iTits would be a natural extension of these developments. In fact, you could have a whole line of Tit electronics - iTits, TitCell, TitBerry, and WiTitFi (a personal wifi receiver with bluetooth that connects to Verizon's nationwide broadband network).
Back to the lab...
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
I should patent this idea or something ...
I linked to this as website of the day.
Erin and I were having a bit of spirited discussion about this with all of the requisite "Tune in Tokyo" jokes. But it occurred to me that such devices could revolutionize the strip club as we know it. Just follow with me and save comments until the end.
Imagine this: You enter a strip club in New York or Chicago. Because of the smoking ban, the air is clear and highly oxygenated. The lights are dim, the place is packed with 'gentlemen' crowded around two or three stages each with 3 or 4 girls, all in various stages of de-robement. And, except for the sound of the men's cat-calls and general conversation, the only music to be heard is the soft sounds of a jazz and blues playing over the speakers. You wander to the bar, eyeing the 'wares' and order a drink (a scotch naturally - hey, do I know my readers, or what?) You spot a fine young woman dancing on a stage in the back. You see on her arm the following markings: 103.3. You pull out your Creative Zen, put in your ear bud headphones and tune the FM Radio to that station. The sound of drum and bass comes thumping through your headset and you realize that this girl is dancing to the music coming through your headset. In fact, every girl has a different number on her, and you can tune each of them in and they are all dancing to whatever music they have programmed in to their iTits. One is drum and bass, another gangsta rap, another j-pop, another break-beat, another metal; each one has a customized playlist. After the second song of her three song set you hear a brief pause in the music, then you hear: "Hi, this is Desire. If you like what you see, you may also like Amber, she's on after the next song on stage 2. For an extra $30 I can get her for you and we can make your wildest dreams come true together." Then the music comes back on and she resumes dancing.
It would be a whole new way of looking at strip clubs. And, there would be a whole new revenue within the strip club for advertising through various girls. Just think: you spot a fine blonde swede and between songs you get ads for "Heineken." Or, girls could advertise on other girls. The possibilities are endless, and the audience is guaranteed. Of course the club would get their take. The girls would make more money, the advertisers can target their ads to specific types of guys (come on, we all know the dude who likes the skanky white trash chick, and we all know he drinks PBR and we can probably assume that he would be interested in an ad for handcuffs from "Joe's Pleasure Palace.")
The girls can play whatever music they like; the guys can listen to whatever music they like, and the club can maintain a relaxing atmosphere. No more shouting over music to be heard by the person next to you. The possibilities are endless ...
Erin and I were having a bit of spirited discussion about this with all of the requisite "Tune in Tokyo" jokes. But it occurred to me that such devices could revolutionize the strip club as we know it. Just follow with me and save comments until the end.
Imagine this: You enter a strip club in New York or Chicago. Because of the smoking ban, the air is clear and highly oxygenated. The lights are dim, the place is packed with 'gentlemen' crowded around two or three stages each with 3 or 4 girls, all in various stages of de-robement. And, except for the sound of the men's cat-calls and general conversation, the only music to be heard is the soft sounds of a jazz and blues playing over the speakers. You wander to the bar, eyeing the 'wares' and order a drink (a scotch naturally - hey, do I know my readers, or what?) You spot a fine young woman dancing on a stage in the back. You see on her arm the following markings: 103.3. You pull out your Creative Zen, put in your ear bud headphones and tune the FM Radio to that station. The sound of drum and bass comes thumping through your headset and you realize that this girl is dancing to the music coming through your headset. In fact, every girl has a different number on her, and you can tune each of them in and they are all dancing to whatever music they have programmed in to their iTits. One is drum and bass, another gangsta rap, another j-pop, another break-beat, another metal; each one has a customized playlist. After the second song of her three song set you hear a brief pause in the music, then you hear: "Hi, this is Desire. If you like what you see, you may also like Amber, she's on after the next song on stage 2. For an extra $30 I can get her for you and we can make your wildest dreams come true together." Then the music comes back on and she resumes dancing.
It would be a whole new way of looking at strip clubs. And, there would be a whole new revenue within the strip club for advertising through various girls. Just think: you spot a fine blonde swede and between songs you get ads for "Heineken." Or, girls could advertise on other girls. The possibilities are endless, and the audience is guaranteed. Of course the club would get their take. The girls would make more money, the advertisers can target their ads to specific types of guys (come on, we all know the dude who likes the skanky white trash chick, and we all know he drinks PBR and we can probably assume that he would be interested in an ad for handcuffs from "Joe's Pleasure Palace.")
The girls can play whatever music they like; the guys can listen to whatever music they like, and the club can maintain a relaxing atmosphere. No more shouting over music to be heard by the person next to you. The possibilities are endless ...
Monday, October 10, 2005
Death of a Chicago Institution
I found out today that my favorite show on NPR is no longer broadcasting. The show "Odyssey" hosted by Gretchen Helfrich (intelligence is damn sexy) went off the air on September 30, 2005. Which is rather unfortunate. The format of the show was a round-table discussion of just about anything you can imagine. The show would usually feature 2 or 3 experts (usually college professors because they have nothing better to do anyway) and Ms. Helfrich. The first 30 - 45 minutes was a panel discussion on the topic. The last 15-30 minutes was a call-in period.
What I loved about the show was its topics and its discussion leader. Ms. Helfrich always asked really insightful questions that gave the speaker plenty of opportunity to talk. But she was also a good moderator, keeping the discussion centered on the topic and preventing the speakers from talking over each other. The topics were fascinating. For example, consider the last month they broadcast, hell just look at the last WEEK they broadcast: important movies, internal migration, curiosity, identity and the human face, "the social geography of death." Really, really interesting topics that take the subjects and put them within global, national, and local context. While the show is based out of Chicago, Ms. Helfrich keeps the show from being Chicago-centric.
Anyway. Congratulations on a fantastic 8 year run. Here's a link to their entire archives available online to listen for free. Enjoy!
What I loved about the show was its topics and its discussion leader. Ms. Helfrich always asked really insightful questions that gave the speaker plenty of opportunity to talk. But she was also a good moderator, keeping the discussion centered on the topic and preventing the speakers from talking over each other. The topics were fascinating. For example, consider the last month they broadcast, hell just look at the last WEEK they broadcast: important movies, internal migration, curiosity, identity and the human face, "the social geography of death." Really, really interesting topics that take the subjects and put them within global, national, and local context. While the show is based out of Chicago, Ms. Helfrich keeps the show from being Chicago-centric.
Anyway. Congratulations on a fantastic 8 year run. Here's a link to their entire archives available online to listen for free. Enjoy!
Friday, October 07, 2005
Two Interesting Stories About The First Amendment
First up, Walmart turns a kid in for a picture he took that shows a magazine picture of George Bush with a red pin through its head. Next to the photo the kid's hand is a thumbs down. Walmart called the Secret Service on him. OK, arguably Wal-Mart has a point here - they don't know who took the picture - and it is a federal crime to threaten death on the President. While their reaction seems a little outrageous, it is, arguably, justifiable. Still, makes you think for a second.
However, this one, is not as forgivable. Woman wears a t-shirt with the pictures of George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Condoleeza Rice, with the caption "Meet the Fuckers." Fellow passengers complain. Southwest asks her to cover it up. On the trip over she puts hubbie's sweater over it while she sleeps. While sleeping the sweater falls off. Passengers complain again. She was told by Southwest if she gets off the flight they will refund her ticket. She gets off the flight (at a connecting airport). Southwest refuses to refund her money.
Make up your own minds. Obviously there is no "First Amendment" violations. Though as a "common carrier" Southwest may have some First Amendment obligations (common carriers - transportation providers, hotels, etc. - are held to higher standards than regular private corporations). But generally the Bill of Rights only apply to governmental entities. So, private corporations are free to kick you out and do what they like for any reason, so long as: a) it doesn't violate the terms of your contract with them, and b) it's not racially discriminatory. While my usual reaction to something like this would be to boycott Southwest for being bastards (I already boycott Wal-Mart for a whole slew of reasons), I can't really afford to not fly Southwest. However, I will say, that this action on their part will make a significant contribution towards any decision I make regarding flying them in the future. So, what should Southwest have done? Nothing. Told the other passengers to deal with it. I find Ashlee Simpson offensive; so, can I have a 12 year old girl kicked off the flight for having a t-shirt with Ashlee Simpson on it?
However, this one, is not as forgivable. Woman wears a t-shirt with the pictures of George Bush, Dick Cheney, and Condoleeza Rice, with the caption "Meet the Fuckers." Fellow passengers complain. Southwest asks her to cover it up. On the trip over she puts hubbie's sweater over it while she sleeps. While sleeping the sweater falls off. Passengers complain again. She was told by Southwest if she gets off the flight they will refund her ticket. She gets off the flight (at a connecting airport). Southwest refuses to refund her money.
Make up your own minds. Obviously there is no "First Amendment" violations. Though as a "common carrier" Southwest may have some First Amendment obligations (common carriers - transportation providers, hotels, etc. - are held to higher standards than regular private corporations). But generally the Bill of Rights only apply to governmental entities. So, private corporations are free to kick you out and do what they like for any reason, so long as: a) it doesn't violate the terms of your contract with them, and b) it's not racially discriminatory. While my usual reaction to something like this would be to boycott Southwest for being bastards (I already boycott Wal-Mart for a whole slew of reasons), I can't really afford to not fly Southwest. However, I will say, that this action on their part will make a significant contribution towards any decision I make regarding flying them in the future. So, what should Southwest have done? Nothing. Told the other passengers to deal with it. I find Ashlee Simpson offensive; so, can I have a 12 year old girl kicked off the flight for having a t-shirt with Ashlee Simpson on it?
More on the Lost Trailers
Let's take a trip in the way back machine. Link to Original Lost Trailers Website. On the right you will find a link to one MP3, a little bit down on the left you will see a link that says : The Lost Trailers believe in providing free music downloads for our songs. You can click that for more MP3s. Of course, this statement has proven to be full of shit. They believe in providing free music downloads until their record label tells them that they aren't allowed to believe in such things anymore.
You can also go here for more MP3s.
This is their Journal from the first show that Brian and I witnessed. A phenomenal opening set for Virginia Coalition. They played maybe 5 or 6 songs and just tore the House of Blues up. VACO was a huge disappointment after that.
This is the Journal for the second show of theirs I saw at the Park West. It was a co-headlining deal with Llama (who??). The set was "blazin" though the fans were a little lackadaisical. Nonetheless, it was a reminder of how great this band can be.
And then, after seeing them open for Pat "Fucking" Green (TEXAS!!! WOO!!), they signed with Universal. After that they played a set at Schuba's which was far better than the crowd deserved. And then a set at the Abbey Pub was the last we in Chicago have seen of them. After that show we were talking to the band and they wondered why we, meaning the fans in the Chicago, didn't do more for them and get them on the radio. But I think they've answered their own question: or at least have always known the answer. If they want to be supported in Chicago you need to do one of two things (for a band like the Trailers): 1) basically set up shop in the city and live there for about 6 months, playing every place in the town that will have you - if you do that, the people will love you for the rest of your life (see Uncle Tupelo); 2) sign with Bloodshot Records. This is a city of loyalty. If you are loyal to the city, it will be loyal right back; if you treat the city as another stop on your way to Texas, or New York, or Boston, they may hold the door open for you on your way out (but only if you're any good).
They've gone from this to this. Congrats guys. It's interesting to watch a band grow up. I saw these guys shortly after they formed and they were eager to get out and play their music and experiment and try new things with their music and mix genres and styles and have fun. The last time I saw them, they were contentious with the crowd (flipping off a patron who had the nerve not to stand up for their show in front of a 1/4 full bar), their album, while good, was poorly mixed (see prior posts), and they have ignored the United States North of the Mason Dixon line. Now, their next album is going to be on the same record label as Kenny F-ing Chesney. They have been consumed by the Nashville Music Industry. I don't know if that's what they've wanted from day one, but I will say, that I expected more from them. I wish them all the luck in the world, and should they ever deign to grace the windy city (or, God Forbid, Madison, WI or Rockford, IL) with their presence I'll be the first to buy tickets.
You can also go here for more MP3s.
This is their Journal from the first show that Brian and I witnessed. A phenomenal opening set for Virginia Coalition. They played maybe 5 or 6 songs and just tore the House of Blues up. VACO was a huge disappointment after that.
This is the Journal for the second show of theirs I saw at the Park West. It was a co-headlining deal with Llama (who??). The set was "blazin" though the fans were a little lackadaisical. Nonetheless, it was a reminder of how great this band can be.
And then, after seeing them open for Pat "Fucking" Green (TEXAS!!! WOO!!), they signed with Universal. After that they played a set at Schuba's which was far better than the crowd deserved. And then a set at the Abbey Pub was the last we in Chicago have seen of them. After that show we were talking to the band and they wondered why we, meaning the fans in the Chicago, didn't do more for them and get them on the radio. But I think they've answered their own question: or at least have always known the answer. If they want to be supported in Chicago you need to do one of two things (for a band like the Trailers): 1) basically set up shop in the city and live there for about 6 months, playing every place in the town that will have you - if you do that, the people will love you for the rest of your life (see Uncle Tupelo); 2) sign with Bloodshot Records. This is a city of loyalty. If you are loyal to the city, it will be loyal right back; if you treat the city as another stop on your way to Texas, or New York, or Boston, they may hold the door open for you on your way out (but only if you're any good).
They've gone from this to this. Congrats guys. It's interesting to watch a band grow up. I saw these guys shortly after they formed and they were eager to get out and play their music and experiment and try new things with their music and mix genres and styles and have fun. The last time I saw them, they were contentious with the crowd (flipping off a patron who had the nerve not to stand up for their show in front of a 1/4 full bar), their album, while good, was poorly mixed (see prior posts), and they have ignored the United States North of the Mason Dixon line. Now, their next album is going to be on the same record label as Kenny F-ing Chesney. They have been consumed by the Nashville Music Industry. I don't know if that's what they've wanted from day one, but I will say, that I expected more from them. I wish them all the luck in the world, and should they ever deign to grace the windy city (or, God Forbid, Madison, WI or Rockford, IL) with their presence I'll be the first to buy tickets.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Racism in Film
An insightful, and extraordinarily well-written and researched (not to mention long!), article that discusses racism in film. Link
---And related Song of the South Website
Brought to you from the most excellent Cartoon Brew blog.
---And related Song of the South Website
Brought to you from the most excellent Cartoon Brew blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)